Tricky situation: Will I continue studying in this college?
I am going to explain my situation in brief. My mind always thinks of unrealistic things, for which even I don't know the reason for. Starting to write a blog is actually helping my mind to be more realistic.
Actually in some crazy thinking which I can't understand why I had thought of it (as I didn't start writing blog posts at that time), I thought of taking a drop and studying first year again. May be I thought that getting a huge GPA would be good for me later on. Its too easy to say now that I wasn't realistic then. But also, performing to the best is crucial to anyone, right? So I decided to repeat first year. Due to unnecessary postponing in the summer vacation, I took two months to actually go to college and ask for a repeat.
On July 7, I went to college once. The Director was not there and I was asked to come on Monday. However I postponed it to Friday. On Friday, the Director was on another meeting and I had to wait for a long time. Finally after a long wait, the Director said that the decision will be going to JNTU. So I waited another week and I went to the college next Friday. After all the wait on that day, Madhu Sharma ma'm told me to come on Monday. Then ma'm told my mother to come the next day. When my mother went to college on Tuesday...
It was actually on Wednesday morning I knew everything that happened in the conversation between Madhu Sharma ma'm and my mother. My mother scolded me a lot. My mother almost scared me that I should go to college without a laptop. At the end of the conversation, my mother agreed that I might go to college with a laptop, as I agreed that I will study my second year and clear a huge number of backlogs.
The reason of getting too many backlogs was that my father left from the family and an irregular schedule without control. I cleared only a few subjects in first semester, that too with C and D grades. In the second semester, I failed in all. Those C and D grades I got was also due to the better performance in mid-terms when I led a normal life, as I didn't knew that my father had a life threatening health problem. In the second semester, all the things in life were almost normal, but for constant unknown sadness in hostel room, I could not concentrate on my studies. I thought that lack of socializing is the reason but enjoying with my friends for some time also didn't help. I attended classes but did not do anything. I was a dumb nut.
If my mother thinks that it is due to laptop addiction, it is false. Its because I could not even touch my laptop that often during that time. Only during the start of the vacation, I started using my laptop and resumed with watching cricket for the first time since nine months. The summer vacation was one period when I got myself free from all the inner sadness of my mind. I have no worries.
But now, as I joined hostel four days back, one might think that this sadness will continue again. But, NO. I am happy as an year back. I joined college last week and started attending classes regularly. Till Tuesday, I could not understand anything but now I am starting to understand.
However the tricky situation still remains which might be solved tomorrow. When my mother went to college last Monday, plans with Madhu Sharma ma'm and co was to give me TC and expel me from the college due to low GPA in first semester. So maybe I understood that taking a drop is not permitted as per JNTU norms, so Madhu Sharma ma'm might have suggested this. Then I reversed my decision and decided to study in the second year and giving my best to clear all the backlogs within one year. When I was trying to explain this, ma'm gave a deaf ear to all this and directly told me to call my mother. When I phoned, my mother replied that my mother is going to Puttaparthi to collect money and will return on Thursday. I shall fight with Madhu Sharma ma'm that I am continuing the course as usual. Even still if ma'm doesn't agree, I shall tell that my mother went out of station and would be coming on Thursday. The situation is very tricky. Hope God does good for me!
Actually in some crazy thinking which I can't understand why I had thought of it (as I didn't start writing blog posts at that time), I thought of taking a drop and studying first year again. May be I thought that getting a huge GPA would be good for me later on. Its too easy to say now that I wasn't realistic then. But also, performing to the best is crucial to anyone, right? So I decided to repeat first year. Due to unnecessary postponing in the summer vacation, I took two months to actually go to college and ask for a repeat.
On July 7, I went to college once. The Director was not there and I was asked to come on Monday. However I postponed it to Friday. On Friday, the Director was on another meeting and I had to wait for a long time. Finally after a long wait, the Director said that the decision will be going to JNTU. So I waited another week and I went to the college next Friday. After all the wait on that day, Madhu Sharma ma'm told me to come on Monday. Then ma'm told my mother to come the next day. When my mother went to college on Tuesday...
It was actually on Wednesday morning I knew everything that happened in the conversation between Madhu Sharma ma'm and my mother. My mother scolded me a lot. My mother almost scared me that I should go to college without a laptop. At the end of the conversation, my mother agreed that I might go to college with a laptop, as I agreed that I will study my second year and clear a huge number of backlogs.
The reason of getting too many backlogs was that my father left from the family and an irregular schedule without control. I cleared only a few subjects in first semester, that too with C and D grades. In the second semester, I failed in all. Those C and D grades I got was also due to the better performance in mid-terms when I led a normal life, as I didn't knew that my father had a life threatening health problem. In the second semester, all the things in life were almost normal, but for constant unknown sadness in hostel room, I could not concentrate on my studies. I thought that lack of socializing is the reason but enjoying with my friends for some time also didn't help. I attended classes but did not do anything. I was a dumb nut.
If my mother thinks that it is due to laptop addiction, it is false. Its because I could not even touch my laptop that often during that time. Only during the start of the vacation, I started using my laptop and resumed with watching cricket for the first time since nine months. The summer vacation was one period when I got myself free from all the inner sadness of my mind. I have no worries.
But now, as I joined hostel four days back, one might think that this sadness will continue again. But, NO. I am happy as an year back. I joined college last week and started attending classes regularly. Till Tuesday, I could not understand anything but now I am starting to understand.
However the tricky situation still remains which might be solved tomorrow. When my mother went to college last Monday, plans with Madhu Sharma ma'm and co was to give me TC and expel me from the college due to low GPA in first semester. So maybe I understood that taking a drop is not permitted as per JNTU norms, so Madhu Sharma ma'm might have suggested this. Then I reversed my decision and decided to study in the second year and giving my best to clear all the backlogs within one year. When I was trying to explain this, ma'm gave a deaf ear to all this and directly told me to call my mother. When I phoned, my mother replied that my mother is going to Puttaparthi to collect money and will return on Thursday. I shall fight with Madhu Sharma ma'm that I am continuing the course as usual. Even still if ma'm doesn't agree, I shall tell that my mother went out of station and would be coming on Thursday. The situation is very tricky. Hope God does good for me!
Comments
Post a Comment